Like those guys on television
who appear in gum ads
or beer ads
or ads that feature jeans

the kind of guys you have to
stop and look at
on your way to the fridge
for another pint of ice cream

those guys who have such fun
playing pool
hiking in the woods
or just sitting half-naked in front of a fan

I want to be gorgeous like that
youthful and butch
with stubble and mussed hair
sweating beads of salty sweat

that’s far more clean
than dirty
maybe a little dirty
a little dangerous

but the good kind of danger
the kind that makes
your jeans tingle
your lips quiver

I’d love to be gorgeous like that
like a wilderness man
with manicured nails
and an L.L. Bean catalogue

I’d love to be gorgeous like that
like the mountain biker
with well defined calves
and a giant S.U.V.

I’d love to be gorgeous like that
like the guy who parties all night
drinking flavored beer
not worried about work the next day.

I’d love to be gorgeous like that.
But I’m not, and that’s O.K.
’cause in reality,
I’m gorgeous like me